Pancakes with maple syrup and cafe latte

thats what i always feel like eating on a sunday morning.
but i usually get fried bee hoon from the market but thats nice too. simple joys in life.

i guess i like to blog on sundays too. end of the week so have some time to evaluate the past week. not the proudest week of my life but i guess life's like that. too many excitements i might end up with even more curly hair.

as much as i want to go for my mock exams i ended up not going for two of them. well done julia. way to go! that's definitely the way to get out of the third class rut.

but i made a realisation! i realise i fear disappointments more than failures. i know that sounded like an excuse. but i guess i really fear putting effort into anything and then yet the results was just not what you planned. that just totally sucked for me really, like much worse than waking up and seeing that morning breakfast was pig trotters with fried yellow mee (leftovers).. (i am sure one of you must be thinking ok what.. i wish i had that for breakfast. good for you!)...

like how much effort you put into a friendship but still the person don't even remember your birthday.(i bet you're thinking did i msg her happy birthday?)... just taking an example. i have not been a very good friend as well.

i realise there are some things you can hope and pray and cry and do whatever funny actions to get the other party to do your will. but its meaningless at the end of the day. they won't do it or they will do it cos your funny actions worked. but ultimately they did not do it out of their will. i guess God felt that way too. that's why he gave us free will and choose to just be disappointed in general. wah. compare to God ah. i am not. i am just saying i suddenly realise how he must have felt.

i know this for a long time. that when i want to do something for a person i should not expect that they will do the same back or that i should expect anything back. Its might as well don't do it. but i guess as any selfish human i do hope that they do. still learning i guess.

aiya. so freaking depressing. life goes on la. i spotted this pair of shoes i really liked. i think i should get it.

i shall dig into my emergency shopping fund. girls have emergency funds for everything. i do! so should you! they will say they are damn broke but still got money to buy that branded eyeshadow. sweet!