Happy Happy.. Are you Happy?

this sentence only made it here after countless deletion and 10 mins of staring into blank space.

i am feeling like shit but i have many happy things to blog about... all in all .. i am not in the right frame of mind.. thoughts are conflicting with one another.. and morbidity is the flavour of the day..

i find that i am turning forgetful... i can walk into a shop and stop for five seconds thinking what was it that i wanted to buy... or put down something on my table.. turn to get a stapler and i can't find what i want to staple anymore.. until five minutes later i realised i had placed in on my bed.

and i am getting more and more tired and sleepy than usual..

are these side effects? that when you shelve your feelings ? you tend to forget yourself too?

you think you can shut me up? i don't want to listen to myself anymore.. i think i talk too much...how can you stand me? i can't stand me!

and i always wonder why they say about you are what you eat? thats bullshit.. so what i look like apples? i look like a fish? i look like a lettuce? i don't get it... cliches should at least have a standard...

but i believe that your room reflects what your current lifestyle is like... my room looks like a dump..

i am too sleepy to continue now ```i think this may really be a problem..